So, this is a pretty casual, daily outfit for me. More on the dark/grunge side of my casual, instead of the more feminine side. I reworked these shorts myself last summer, and still love them. The shorts themselves, I'm pretty sure I've had since high school. And they're slightly big on my waist...
Anyway, I've also gotten a new tattoo! Thanks to Andrew Thaxter for another gorgeous piece. He pulled off this golden eagle incredibly well, as I knew he would. The banner reads "Isaiah 40:31.
Isaiah 40:31: "But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."
Everything seems so desolate, like the leafless trees in the dead of winter, when there is no current contact. It's like I'm waiting in the dark for just a spark of light. Your voice on repeat in my head, my eyes longing for yours to make contact with mine. The big grin you always give me when you see me is engraved into my mind, and your name carved deep into my heart. How foolish was I to allow this to come to a halt? I dug myself into this hole, now trying to make my way out and back into your heart. Your name was never one I tried to erase, like so many others before. You were always the constant, always permanent. Everything of yourself that you have given me, has painted my heart into a beautiful canvas, unlike the others who only left ugly stains which are slowly being washed out. That's how I always knew you were supposed to be in my life, when God allowed you to paint me a beautiful picture, unmatched by anyone else other than He Himself. Now I can only attempt to paint with words what it is I feel for you, hoping my actions will be enough, shall I be given another chance. Our Father is still painting His masterpiece of my life, and it's beauty, I await.
Now I'm not one to believe in New Years resolutions, as you shouldn't need an excuse to make a change or to better yourself. I've already started working on all this without the coming of a new year.
This year hasn't necessarily been the best for me, but I've probably grown and matured more this year than ever before. I've made a whole hell of a lot of mistakes (not even just this past year, but years previous as well). But I've learned so much from every single one of them. I've matured so incredibly much (it's nice when your parents and other people you look up to you tell you what a difference they see in you), I've discovered who I am and what I'm about, what my passions are, and what things are actually of importance to me. My Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, love, music, art (encompassing style/fashion, writing, blogging), family, and the friends whom are closest and dearest to me. I've hardened myself and become a bit of a bitch over recent years, but have also realized that that's not really who I am. I let the bitterness of the world get to me.
I'm trying to be less cynical. I've ran from those who have been closest and of most importance to me, and I am trying so hard to redeem myself, and to correct what happened between us. Want you in my life more than anything, and I'm so sorry for my bullshit excuses. I'm working on rebuilding these relationships.
Most importantly, I'm drawing closer to my Savior again, and working on strengthening my relationship with Him. I've strayed far too many times, and I want nothing more than to remain close now. He has provided with me way more than I need, much less deserve (which isn't much, if anything, at all), and I am so incredibly blessed and grateful for all that I have.
I, also, must remain true to what my chest piece reads ("Love is the Answer"), and start spreading the love like I should have been all along.
Music is one of my biggest passions and inspirations in this life, and although I'm no musician myself, it means the world to me, and I involve myself however possible. In come Kuppajoe. This place is my getaway, my release, my second home, my support group, and my place of worship. Kuppajoe is the perfect example of what the church should be: loving, non-discriminatory, and a place where we can all get together and read, discuss, and celebrate the word of Christ, all in fellowship with one another.
Blogging is also big for me. It's my creative escape where I can share everything that means something to me. My style, my own writing, music that pulls at my heartstrings, my emotions and thoughts, and just daily ramblings. It's my way of expressing myself to the world.
Now I know a lot of people get bored with these long text posts, but writing is just as, if not more, important to me as any of these photos I share with you all. So if you did read through this all, I love you and appreciate you so much. And even if you didn't, I love you regardless.
I know this is a long one, but I hope you all have started your year off wonderfully, and I wish you all the utmost happiness and success.
Let me just tell you how freakin IN LOVE I am with this dress from Crash & Burn. OH MY GOD. Perfection in a dress. Crash & Burn sent me this almost two months ago, and I am just now getting around to having it shots. I had to save this for the perfect location, occasion, etc. I have worn it quite a few times since getting it. It is seriously the most comfortable dress I own, and if you know me, you know I get down with the tie dye. Seriously though, check their shiz out. All of it is just plain amazing. Thank you Demi so much for making this shoot so magical. All these shots are TOO PERFECT.
Oh, yeah, that blue in my hair.. It ain't hair dye. It's pastels. As in, that artsy fartsy upgraded version of chalk. Get the crazy colors you want, without the commitment. Just wash it out once you're done with it. If I wasn't currently trying to get this job that I don't think would be down with unnatural hair colors, I would totally dye my hair this color. But alas, I'm sticking with chalking my hair for now. It's actually really easy to do and doesn't hardly take me any time at all (then again, my hair isn't exactly long, and I'm only chalking my fringe).
Also, let me tell you how much shit Demi and I went through for this shoot. First, dodging cars while I'm trying to lay in the middle of the road. I ain't trying to get turned into roadkill any time soon. Second of.. That damn palm tree branch? Yeah, that sucker decided it wanted to drop dirt and shit down my dress. Cool, dirty boobs. Then those photos in front of the orchard/corn? Yeah, dust galore. I swear we were both caked with dust and dirt by the time we were out of there. Totally worth it though. We ended the day driving back to my place singing Cobra Starship to each other. Yeah, we're those girls (lesbehonest).
Hope you all have had a great labor day weekend!
xo
Maddie
Oh, P.S.!
One of Demi's photos from this shoot will be featured in this month's Fresno Art Hop at Broadway Studios downtown! So, if you live in Fresno, make sure to make it down there this Thursday and support all our talented local artists!
Just a real quick mini update here.. MY HAIR IS FINALLY LAVENDER!! Only took me how long to be content with the color of my hair since I went lighter (which was quite a process, let me tell you). Oh, the things cosmetology school does to you.
Speaking of, sometimes I question why I've decided to get into this industry. I'm always afraid of being perceived as one of those shallow, gossipy bitches. Actually, the whole industry is pretty vain if you really think about it. Hell, this whole blogging thing can be perceived as pretty damn vain as well. Always just rambling on about the shit I'm wearing. Why? What's the point?
I've done a lot of thinking about it, and there's only two real reasons to validate any of this, really. First off, the whole beauty/fashion/style thing.. It's my form of creativity, an art of sorts. It's a way I can express myself and portray my creativity (and I can promise you there's more creativity and intelligence to me than just how I portray myself). I've never wanted to be perceived as one of those girls who's all looks and no brains, because that's not me at all. My second reason for validating this. Promoting and spreading the word of up and coming artists and designers, those who hand craft everything they sell themselves. It's such a personal form of art, and I love being able to support those who have a passion for what they're doing, all by their own hands. There's more to this than the shit I clothe my body with every day, and the color of my hair and the way I style it, that I can promise you.
My good friends at De Epoca Vintage are having a pop up shop this coming Tuesday. If you love great vintage finds and live in the San Diego area, make sure to come out! Art, music, and vintage, what could be better than that?!
Jessika, the mastermind behind De Epoca, definitely has a good eye. There's not one thing in the shop that I don't absolutely love! She's also quite the seamstress/DIYer (the above high voltage shorts that she totally reconstructed herself, for example. Gotta love the studs and fringe!!) Make sure you check it, you don't want to miss out on these amazing pieces at great prices!
